The retreat was held at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. There were over 800 participants. The retreat was called, "Awakening the Heart" and that it did. Our day began at 6:00 am. We gathered near the dining hall and walked together to the the meditation hall in silence observing the flow of our breath. We began our day with a sitting meditation or other event and walked back to the dining hall for breakfast. After breakfast it was back to the meditation hall for a Dharma talk, the teachings of the Buddha. What I appreciate about Thay is that he presents these teachings in a way that the lay person can relate to. Sitting in the same room with him is what I would expect the feeling to be like sitting with the Dali Lama. He is pure compassion, gentleness, understanding and love. After the talk, Thay would lead a walking meditation. Try to imagine 800 people, walking slowly though the UBC Campus in total silence - flipping amazing. We would then head back for lunch, have a little bit of free time and then break off into smaller groups for a more focused discussion. My group was on grief and we were blessed to be led by Sister Chan Khong. She has been with Thay for 52 years. You wouldn't believe this lovely 73 year old woman. She has written her autobiography called "Leaning True Love - Practicing Buddhism in a Time of War". I haven't started it yet but if the forward or introduction are indicative, I'm expecting a powerful read. After the discussion group it was dinner and then back to the meditation hall for either an evening meditation or other event. I was usually in bed around 10:30 pm.
I'm not sure I can put into words all that I experienced. It wasn't always good or easy but... Breath is the very essence of this practice and I think we all know how taking a deep breath can calm us. But I found that this direct focus on my breath also brought back the emotions of the night that Jean-Luc died. As paramedics worked on him, the Victims' Service volunteer who was supporting me encouraged me to take a deep breath as I was falling apart. I told her that if Jean-Luc wasn't breathing I didn't want to. During the first couple of days of our walking meditation, my mind would stray and the same four lines would play over and over in my head. It made me very sad. I learned that we should sit quietly with our difficult emotions, hold them and acknowledge them. So after the walking meditation I would go and sit in the Asian gardens and try to do this. After a couple of days a few more lines came to me that gave me great comfort. This is what I wrote.
The tide,
Like his breath
Flows in and out, in and out
Yet the tide never ceases
His breath becomes mine
And so now, he too will never cease
It would take pages to describe the Buddhist teachings (and I don't know much), especially the ideas on non death. It is a practice that really speaks to me. No, I'm not going to run off and become a monk but I am going to explore a deeper practice of meditation and Buddhism. You can learn more about Thay and Plum Village at www.plumvillage.org The week has given me a sense of peace and I don't feel as anxious about seeing Jean-Luc's parents and brothers and sister and I have a much different outlook on how I am going to approach the walk on the Chemin du Puy. Definitely got my money's worth out of the retreat.